I was just talking with my niece about procrastinating and working under pressure. I do best with timelines and lists and boxes I can check off. The past 2 years have been a pressure cooker for most people. I have been lucky and privileged in a lot of areas during the pandemic: my job went online, my mom could help with childcare, we live in a place where we can go outside and the weather is pleasant year round. With that being said, the first year of the pandemic was insane on every level, especially with a 2 year old. However, on a creative level I feel like the pandemic forced me to discover creative outlets, when before I would rely on travel for stimulation. I got back into super 8 big time, and even entered a film festival. I was not selected… but at least I entered right?
The festival is called Straight 8 and the rules are as follows:
“Make a short film on one cartridge of super 8mm cine film with no editing, no re-takes, no grade, no post-production. The visuals for your film are completed in-camera, shooting in story order, editing only with each pull of the camera's trigger. every shot you take becomes your film. The film does not record sound so you then submit a separate, original soundtrack, still without having seen your film.we get your film processed at the lab and we line up your soundtrack to the first frame of picture. The first time you see even your own film will be together with the audience at one of our packed premieres, like the one we hold at cannes film festival, if it's good enough.”
So basically, you shoot a roll of super 8 film in one take, you don’t even know how it looks or if it turns out, and then you send in a score that you HOPE lines up, and voila, you wait half a year and see it after the films are selected.
Mine was not selected, and of course I was disappointed, but once I finally got to see the footage, and hear the score with it, I was STOKED! Not only did the film look great, but in the story I was able to see myself on a few levels. I originally wanted the plot to be a mother going through her daily routine with her baby, and leave the viewer wondering what happened to her partner. After watching it I realized the film is a total reflection of how I was feeling as a mother during that period. I felt trapped by circumstances, nostalgic for the days of romance and freedom, and just plain exhausted. Now, almost a year later I have echoes of those feelings, but I am a different woman and my relationship with motherhood is different as well. I am inspired and excited about this stage of motherhood, when before I couldn’t even imagine feeling this way.
My sister Rachel acted in the film and her partner has a cameo in a past super 8 that she watches. He also wrote and played the gorgeous score. Their adorable daughter makes her acting debut, making it truly a family affair. Thanks for being the best sports and for telling my story.
Does this version of motherhood resonate with you? I would love to hear your opinions, critiques and comments!